Happy Independence Day, and Everything Stays the Same!

Happy Independence Day. I haven't quite worked out what this day means to me personally, other than being an American Citizen as opposed to some other citizen.

Here in Denver, we have a virtual gumbo of nationalities; not all of them feel the same way about American independence as those of us who have grown up with it. I was reminded of that today when my husband and I went out for dim sum after church this morning. Although there were many non-Chinese people in the crowded restaurant, we were the only African Americans. "Happy 45th of July," server after server pushing steaming carts told us, none of them really able to master English, and me being the only one who really understood what they were saying, because I've gone to the same restaurant for the past 10 years and my husband only goes when I get a severe hankering and drag him along with me.

After dim sum, as is my tradition, I love to go over to the Vietnamese bakery for dessert, which I can never eat just then (after having stuffed myself with dim sum) but is always good in the middle of the night. I love the sweet yellow-bean dessert with the sweet coconut cream topping. And, once again, I was reminded of the social hierarchy of this race-based society of ours, even in such a diverse community as "Vietnam Town" in West Denver. Standing at the counter with my desserts and something else that I picked up (I had no idea what it was - looked like sweetened dried apricots, and I'm an adventurous eater), I stood there for a good 4-5 minutes while the lady behind the counter counted money and spoke rapidly in Vietnamese to the man behind the counter with her. Meanwhile, a white man was in line behind me, looking at the freshly baked bread. Finally, the woman took my money, added up my purchases wrong a couple of times, then getting it right took my $7.50. Thank you!

As I'm heading out the door, I was mildly surprised to hear her come out of her coma and, in her best, high pitched, highly accented voice chirp: "Hello Sir! How may I help you?!?!?"

Okay, so maybe I wasn't surprised at all. After all, even new immigrants know how our social hierarchy works - white men first, black women fall somewhere towards the bottom, who knows, maybe even lower than her newly immigrant self in her eyes. Wow. Well, it won't keep me from patronizing the Vietnamese bakery, but it is a little sad to see other, more recent immigrants bowing, scraping, and generally acting like buffoons, not realizing that it's not going to get them anywhere.

They'll see.

Tea Party Crazies Keep Losing Credibility – Keep up the Good Work!

Yesterday’s appearance of Meghan McCain on the View gave me the tiniest glimmer of hope for our country when she condemned the so-called “Tea Party” agenda. To quote:

"And I think it's why young people are turned off by this movement." And I'm sorry [but] revolutions start with young people. Not with 65-year-old people talking about literacy tests and people who can't say the word 'vote' in English. It's ridiculous."

The fact that the so-called "Tea Party" would invite Sarah Palin to be the keynote speaker and pay her $100K is one clue to the ridiculousness of their agenda, but the $349 entry fee for the convention only puts it out of reach of the average Joe that they claim to represent. If you were fortunate enough (as if!) to attend the banquet and hear Palin, you would have paid $549. $100K for a speaker who never makes a point and reads notes out of her hand like an adolescent! I have another bone to pick with Palin. Rahm Emmanuel should never have used the phrase “f*ckin’ retard” in public, in my humble opinion, but it was in a private setting, and when the drug-addled Rush (perfect name for a blowbag) Limbaugh says it on the airwaves in front of millions, she makes excuses for him, saying he is "using satire." Her hypocrisy is stunning. I do hope she runs for president in 2012 and makes it easy for our candidates.

Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back for the so-called "Tea Baggers" is their incredibly stupid decision to have Tom Tancredo as opening speaker at their convention. I can’t even speak ill of him any more, because he is so pathetic. The more his handlers allow him out in public to spout hatred, it seems the easier it gets for him and he gets even crazier. I’m embarrassed that he’s from my state. He started out expressing his racism subtlety, but gets worse every time he opens his mouth, to the point where he actually had the audacity to say:

"we do not have a civics literacy test before people can vote... People who could not even spell the word 'vote' or say it in English put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House."

Is Tancredo really that ignorant that he doesn’t know the history of so-called literacy tests and how they were used to prevent African Americans from voting? And as a man of Italian descent, is he so clueless as to not know how his own people were discriminated against when they first arrived in this country? Yet two generations or so down the road he thinks it's okay for him to do the same to other immigrants?

Let’s just hope that Meghan McCain and others like her represent the future of the Republican Party, and not the rich codgers who call themselves the “Tea Party.” Perhaps the young people will make a difference in the future of this country.

Some “Players” Should Stick to the Game They Know How to Play

I tried hard to ignore the whole Tiger Woods story for the first few days. I felt that there really wasn’t anything unusual about a dashing young multi-millionaire athlete getting caught cheating on his wife; distasteful as it is to the public palate, it happens all the time. But as the story continues to unfold, it is starting to be so surreal that you can’t help but notice.

Saline enhanced? Gullible? Sleazy? I want YOU!

It just goes to show you that regardless of what you think you may know about someone in the public eye, you really don’t know a damn thing. Carefully crafted “images” are usually just that after all – images. Consider the Tiger Woods that we think we know: wholesome family man, squeaky clean, wonderful relationship with a beautiful wife and adorable children. Now contrast that with the picture that is starting to emerge: a prescription drug abusing, sneaky, lying, egomaniacal womanizer. As a new picture takes shape, I find myself squirming in disbelief. Woman after woman, after woman, keep coming forward, each less “wholesome” than the next. As my disbelief mounts, so does my empathy for his lovely wife (who may have taken a golf club to him). Mr. Wholesome, publicly unveiled, is starting to look like a very sinister character indeed. In fact, in my unprofessional opinion he’s “totally messed up” in the head. This is no minor lapse in judgment; this isn’t him “not being true to his values.” Clearly, his demons come before any values that he may have had, if any. He needs professional help, quick.

All that sexaholism or whatever he suffers from aside, he clearly hasn’t a clue as to how to play a “Player’s” game. As good as he is at golf, he is a rank amateur in the running ladies department. A pitiful pisher.

First of all, he doesn’t need that many women, regardless of how many he thinks he needs. Quality, not quantity. There is only so much of Tiger to go around. Perhaps he took his nickname too literally? Anyway, with as much money as this guy has, he should have used it wisely to buy the loyalty of his paramours. If those women had been getting paid for their services, chances are they would have been more protective of his privacy. Who wants to bite the hand that feed them? Everyone should have had a wonderful place to live, the flashy car of their choice and a tidy “allowance;” had he arranged that then he would have realized that he didn’t need so many. Secondly, he made the ridiculous mistake of letting them believe that they were the “only ones.” Now, instead of one woman scorned he has 10 or so. Okay granted, they were stupid thinking they could expect loyalty from a man who happens to be married to another woman, but who knows what he told them in his bumbling attempt to be a “Player?”

I hope for a positive outcome for Tiger and his family, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and the situation is probably already irretrievably broken. It will take a woman who is almost a Saint to love a man that much after so much public humiliation and embarrassment, but perhaps Elin loves her husband that much and took her vows as seriously as he didn’t. One lesson I hope he has learned, and that other “Players” should learn from this as well – stick to the game you know.

Hatred in the Hallowed Halls

Let me preface this by stating that I am a fan of Barack Obama's, and that I believe that our current health care system is in dire need of reform. I'm disgusted with sky high premiums for insurance companies who refuse to pay claims when their customers actually get sick (so their executives can get paid exhorbitant bonuses). I'm disgusted by a system that treats illnesses without addressing prevention and healthy lifestyles (perhaps because someone is profiting greatly from illness?). So I was inspired watching Obama's address to Congress last Wednesday, grinning as he said all the right things, perhaps distracted by the constant applause and ovation after ovation, but nevertheless inspired.

My feelings upon hearing the cretin shout out “You Lie!” were mirrored on the mortified, and yet furious face of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Was I looking at a Town Hall meeting, or were these supposed to be elected officials listening to an address given by the President of the United States of America? When did it become okay to be that disrespectful of your colleagues, or the American people? When I learned who the offensive Congressman was and where he was from, sadly, I chalked it up to plain old racism, especially after seeing the picture of him with his face contorted with straight-up hatred that he couldn't be bothered to contain. But then I talked to my sister, who told me to take another look at the photograph and to look at the faces of the Congressmen seated on either side of the infantile Joe Wilson, and when I did I skipped a breath. Again, pure, unadulterated hatred. No, not just an “I disagree with you” look, not a rolling of the eyes, but a look of “Screw you, President Darkie, you MF. I hate you.” No, this is no ordinary political disagreement. It is unrestrained, ugly, disheartening hatred of some so-called human beings against the Leader of the Free World, not for political reasons, but for purely human reasons. It has a name – Racism.

In spite of my Pollyana-ish attitude about life in general and faith in the human spirit, I have concluded that there are people out there who just don't like a Black Man as President, no matter how good a leader, how educated, smart, inspiring, and faithful and loyal to a beautiful family - admirable values for anyone. What else can I conclude? In my lifetime, I have seen reactions to politicians before, but never anything even remotely at this level. I have never seen people who call themselves “Men of God,” e.g. Pastors of churches, tell their sheep-like flocks to pray for rain for a Presidential Address, or worse, admit that they are praying for the death of the President. In my eyes, that ought to be labeled for what it is and punished accordingly – treason. I've not seen irresponsible radio talk show hosts transform “Black Man,” to “Socialist,” tell bald-faced lies on the air and get away with it. I literally threw my hands in the air when I heard about people threatening to keep their children out of school to avoid hearing the Presidential Address to schoolchildren (not a new idea) about the value of an education. How sickening to know that uneducated people are continuing the cycle of stupid with their children; even more so knowing that these people are allowed to vote and procreate.

I take refuge in the knowledge that these people certainly don't represent the majority of the American people. After all, Obama was elected by a clear majority. What does worry me is that people appear to be getting crazier. I can't imagine how anyone thought it was okay to go hear the President speak while packing heat. Why? More importantly, why would such a lunatic be interviewed on a television news program instead of thrown in the slammer face down with a boot to the back of the neck? I mean seriously, the last President spied on citizen's private telephone conversations, and you could have been arrested for just speaking disparagingly about him. Elderly people's cookie swaps were raided. Teenage boys with “Islamic sounding” names were put on terrorist lists that caused them to be stopped at airports. Wars were started under false pretenses that plundered the Treasury. I didn't like any of it. But hatred? C'mon. The former administration included human beings just like the rest of us (with a few aliens mixed in, I'm sure). I feel that we were lucky more damage wasn't done before they left. And to his credit, the former President has kept a low profile since he left (unlike the aliens).

The elected officials who can't contain their hate need to be voted out. They are an embarrassment to themselves, their constituents and to our country. They are supposed to be role models and they are supposed to represent everyone, not just the people who share their skin pigment. I was ecstatic to hear that Joe Wilson's former-marine opponent in the next election was given a $500,000 windfall the next day after Wilson's ridiculous outburst by an enraged public. It made me proud of my country.

What I've learned about Friends, Facebook Style

Being a tech-savy, middle-aged Grandma, I jumped right in after learning about MySpace, then Facebook. Wow! Being “Friended” by old high-school acquaintances after 30 or more years, looking at pictures of my cousins kids and their kids, how cool is this! By the time I had reached closed to 300 Friends I started to notice certain patterns emerging. I'm listing them in this article, and betting that as you read this you see that you have Friends that fit into each one of these categories.

1. The Swift-Fingered Avenger – Everyone has been wronged by someone. The Swift-Fingered Avenger is the poster who takes obvious revenge online. A typical post will read something like “Don't you just love it when your so-called friends stab you in the back and can't be bothered to return your calls? Some people just need to grow up.” The Swift-Fingered Avenger's objective is settling a score without having to actually say anything to the Offender. The Offender is obviously an online Friend, or the friend of one who, knowing all about the situation (because the Swift-Fingered Avenger can't get revenge without making sure that the Offender gets wind of the post) can't wait to rush back and tell them what was written about them. Often the messenger has a scathing rebuttal comment, or the Swift-Fingered Avenger's Friends will make sympathetic comments. So, I've learned that Facebook affords one the opportunity to slap a face without actually having to face anyone. Okay, so it's cowardly, but convenient, and oh-so satisfying if used correctly.

2. The Visual Narcissist – Hopefully your new Friend will have photo albums posted in their profile, especially if you haven't seen them in many years. However, if you start looking at their photo albums, and the album lists 400 or more photos, and as you click through them you start to realize (with horror) that most or all of the photos are of the Friend, some in clusters of 100 or more in the same outfit on the same night, file this Friend in the Visual Narcissist File. The typical Visual Narcissist is between the ages of 18-30, with some variation in either direction. Their typical photo shows them grinning becomingly into a close-up camera (close because their arms are only so long, and you will see the arms extended on the sides of the shot). You see their very best come-hither seductive pose, always showing their “best side.” Or you will see them pictured out on a Friday night at the club, wearing a very cute outfit, with their hair on point, posing with everyone in the club. However, the one thing all the shots will have in common is that your Friend is in them. All of them. Okay, WE GET IT. You looked really cute that night, but 300 shots? Very quickly I learned that if I get notification that one of my Visual Narcissist Friends has posted photos, I don't have to look at them. I've seen them before.

3. The TMI Narcissist differs from the Visual Narcissist in that their preferred update method is mundane information, e.g. “Tom just brushed his teeth and is now leaving for work” or “Candie had a tuna sandwich, chips and a pickle for lunch.” Now we all love Tom and Candie, but many posts aren't really worth all the clutter on my news feed page. Everyone wakes up and brushes his/her teeth, or has lunch. Big deal. I love to read about your exotic vacation, your personal achievements, and your new children/grandchildren, but really. TMI Narcissists, resist the urge to type an update if you don't have anything to say! What really gets to me is when they “Like” their own mundane post, or comment on it! You want to just call these people up and invite them to a movie for their sake, to save them from their own boring lives, but I've learned that if you do, you risk reading about it in atrocious detail later on Facebook.

4. The Emotional Objector – One of the first things I learned on Facebook is that if your Friends have a different political opinion than yours, you will learn quickly. And that's okay. After all, many of my Friends are really just casual acquaintances. Plus, everyone has an opinion and nobody's is more valuable than anyone else's. Another valuable lesson is that you never reply angry. The Emotional Objector disregards all that (because surely, only their point of view matters), to the point where you are tempted to de-friend them. I've learned that if you are interested in maintaining that relationship, just filter out their updates. That way, you don't have to look at their predictable, angry screeds, but can send them a message, or check in on them from time to time when you want to. This method also works for the other Facebook types listed in this column.

5. The Zealot – Once again, “Okay Friend. WE GET IT.” The Zealot has a Mission and they want to make damn sure you understand what it it. Post after post (after post) about their cause, sometimes 10 at a time. At first you read them because you are excited about reconnecting with them and want to see what they have done with their lives. Then, after a while, you realize that, well, something has snapped, and you respond politely, sometimes with a friendly “Like” just so they think you are still connected (why you care, you don't know; maybe in remembrance of that fun person you used to know!) when they've posted something you may agree with. While it's a nice gesture, remember, that it's risky behavior on your part. It's enabling, and you are just leading them on. I've learned that the best way to deal with Zealots is to ignore them, unless they are commenting on one of your own updates that has nothing to do with their cause.

Those are just a few of my observations. It's challenging juggling communications with 300 “Friends” on a regular basis, but can also be quite rewarding if you can keep up. You just have to take the time to learn the ropes.

Sexual Ambiguity, Sports, and Life

So now, amazingly enough, we have officially entered the age of "Gender Discrimination" against women who may or may not be woman enough.

You heard me. Apparently, having too many "male characteristics" while being a woman is enough to disqualify you from competing against other women in athletic events these days, or at least if you are a South African girl named Caster Semenya.

Caster Semenya is a running sensation. She beat the world's record by running the 800m in 1:56.72, astounding the world, and that's the problem. After she stepped up her game and blew everyone else out of the park in the July, 2009 African Junior Championships, the International Association of Athletics Federation insisted that she take a "gender verification test" to prove that she is indeed a female.

Granted, Semenya has an athletic build. She is muscular, not very feminine in her mannerisms and has a deep voice. But has anyone else besides me been watching the WC Track and Field games in Berlin? Muscular bodies, deep voices and athletic prowess prevail. I'm sorry, but a weave and acrylic nails don't make anyone feminine. Serious athletes have serious muscle tone and sacrifice some of their more "feminine attributes" for their sport. You lose fat and gain muscle, which includes breast tissue for some. I'm not a doctor and can't explain what this does to one's body, but I do have to wonder where we draw the line between who is a woman and who isn't. Apparently, genitalia isn't enough any more. It's complicated and calls for many specialists to determine the presence of hormonal and/or chromosonal disorders.

But the question for me is, how many people in your life do you know who have some sexual ambiguity? Does that mean they can't compete in athletic events? More importantly does it mean that they should be publicly humiliated and stripped of their accomplishments?

I'm ashamed of the powers that be at the WC in Berlin for their treatment of this young woman, especially in light of the fact that if they had any question in the first place they should have handled it before now (and certainly less publicly). I'm also ashamed of a society that wouldn't take the feelings of a young woman into account for the sake of their insistence on "black or white and nothing else."

What's in YOUR Pizza?

Let's be perfectly clear. In no way is the Internet responsible for the fruits and nuts that have access to is; the ones who are able to post anythibg they want to it, as free citizens. I use the Internet every day and I'm grateful for it. I don't have to settle for local news; I can go across the pond and see what's going on in Europe or Africa. I can post angry responses to stories that irk me. I can post videos for my family to see. However, common sense has to prevail. What do you do with people who are as dumb as a bag of hammers?

A couple of days ago, two of these people posted videos of themselves spitting and putting buggers on sandwiches, and wiping a dishwashing sponge between (his) butt cheeks before washing dishes with the same sponge. I was horrified. I sat there wathing, and wishing the most virulent, horrific death on these two. I wished that they would come down with a pox that would turn their faces to searing oatmeal, while the flames of hell licked them on their behinds - nothing could be punishment enough. See, I order pizza. I eat at restaurants, and although it may happen more than I would like to believe, I like to think that I am eating food that I would feed to my own family.

Those videos tried really hard to destroy my faith.

Who is to stop people from punishing those who they feel may have slighted them? Is there anyone out ther monitoring, when the bosses have gone home to their own families but you can still order a drunken pizza in the middle of the night? How do we know they don't have nasty sinus infections, and spit rot into food that would be indistinguishable from the honey-mustard dressing? Okay sorry, that was gross, but my stomach is turning just talking about it.

Here's the deal. Please, let's throw the book at these monstrosities. Throw them in an arena of Sunday football fans who eat Dominoes and let the people have their way. In the words of Marcellus, "let's get medieval on their a$$es." I would like to think that may discourage some people, but maybe not. In the meantime, it's going to be a long time before I order a pizza. A long time. And when I do, I will be very nice to the people on the other end of the phone when I call (well, usually I am anyway, if I'm not on hold too long), and I will tip the delivery person considerably. I hope this helps.